Monday, September 08, 2008

Taking on Screen writing.

I just got back from my first day of my new class at Filmmakers: Intro to Screen writing.

The woman teaching it is pretty hilarious, and seems to know her stuff. Tonight, we went over the syllabus and watched Die Hard in fast-forward, with the teacher pointing out the structure of the basic "3 act screenplay" as the action unfolded. It was interesting and highly entertaining at the same time. I have some readings to read for the next class, plus I may try to watch some movies in fast-motion.

(think of Spaceballs, I can watch fast-motion of the fast-forward part!).

I'm not exactly sure why I decided to pick up a screen writing class. I don't feel like I'm particularly talented in that realm. Perhaps that's part of the reason actually. It will be a good challenge. However, I don't feel like it's something I would really want to do for a living. I do not write habitually. I guess I just like trying different things...maybe wondering if I'm missing something that I could actually develop into something that I could utilize in a job or in my art?

It certainly doesn't hurt to be well-rounded.

At any rate, I did take a playwriting class and I know that my dialogue is lacking. I could use some work in that area. Also, I do not have a great knowledge of the movies in existence, directors, actors, I'll have to hop on and browse around for a while.

Or get into some conversations with some of my movie-fanatic friends.

And max out the Netflix account.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

On a Razor's Edge...

Ha, as soon as I wrote that title I realized how suicidal that sounded...never fear, I'm not on my "last rope" or something.

What I mean by that phrase is, I feel like lately I've been on the edge of something big. However, it's like I keep floating back and forth toward that edge, like swinging on a rope over a swimming hole and not quite getting far enough over to let go. It's kind of frustrating.

Part of the frustration comes in that I'm not quite sure how to define that big something. I think it's spiritual, but it seems even bigger than that, if that's possible.

The edge might also mean that I feel the pressure of keeping life in balance and I feel that I'm always teetering like that single bowling pin that just refuses to fall when you're sure you've thrown a strike.

All of this balancing and swinging, it's tiring. (those circus types must get exhausted)

Now it occurs to me, perhaps the reason it's tiring is because I'm putting all of the pressure to do the balancing onto myself. I'm human and I'm not exactly built to do that sort of thing. At the same time, I do believe that we are given the responsibility for some of this stuff...inaction is not the answer. It's just, where do I focus my trust when it really comes down to it? When I act, do I have the faith that God will use that action? Do I "do all I can and then leave it up to God?" Do I believe that God works even when I'm not doing such a good job at "doing"??

All I can do is humble myself, spend time being thankful and remembering that I'm Beloved. It is only out of that identity that I can truly act with confidence. It's not that I have to always be in balance or always steady...I often learn so much more when I fall. I relate with people more through what I don't have together than with what I do.

Discipline AND Free-flowing. Works AND Grace. Flesh AND Spirit. This line is a paradox. It's about finding peace within the paradox...being able to live in it even if I don't completely understand it.

This razor edge existence is the only way to live...I just need to let go, move forward and lose my fear of falling.