Glimpsing the good of Humanity...on a bus

I've been staying at work much later than I should lately and yesterday was no exception. I had plans to go to the Holiday Stew at the Union Project, which started at 7:00 and I left my office at 6:35 (yes I know...I should just GO HOME). I was going to be late.

So at 6:50, I arrived across the bridge at the bus stop and started looking for my bus tickets. I frantically searched my coat pockets and every crevice of my backpack as the 71A approached...and passed me by. This shouldn't be too big of a deal, but after a long day of staring at a computer screen, I was pretty drained and my emotions were a bit out of whack. (Plus, the buses do not run as often after 7:00, so that means more waiting.)

I think I was checking the lining of my coat to see if they fell through the hole in my pocket when the 71D stopped to open its door. I made a desperate motion of resignation, indicating that I didn't have a way to pay my fare (I had a 20 dollar bill, but I would rather walk than give that much).

First relief, the guy waved for me to get on the bus.

As I stammered something about needing to be on the bus that just passed, he gave me a transfer and said I could catch one up in Oakland. Second relief.

I tried to sound as grateful as I could when I thanked him and found a seat on the mostly vacant bus. I called my friend to tell her I'd be pretty late.

After a few minutes, the bus driver motioned for me to come to the front of the bus. I hung up the phone and saw the 71A looming through the front window. He said, "You'll have to rush, but you can probably make it at the next red light up here."

I thought, "yay, I might be able to catch the right bus after all!" Then the bus driver made me pause.

"Now listen, I have a daughter in college who's about 20. And after I'm done here, I'm going to go pick her up... I couldn't have left you stranded out there."

He stopped the bus, he honked his horn a couple times and before I knew it I was racing over to the 71A as the light turned green. I made it on, thanked the driver for waiting and sat down in a heap.

And started to cry.

I know, I'm a weird emotional girl sometimes, but several feelings overwhelmed me at that moment.

Gratitude, for the kind actions of a stranger.

Joy, that somehow this one small act redeemed my perception of humanity in general.

Sadness, that I often do not live to serve and see the little things I can do for the others around me.

Awe, that these events could line up to make possible what I could not achieve on my own.

Perhaps that bus driver (I didn't have time to get his name) didn't realize it, but his action and words made me have a moment to reflect and see how God is good and how He works in the events in my life...big and small. It was just what I needed at that moment...a reminder that there is something bigger at work and there are more lives to consider than my own. That bus driver wasn't just a mechanical, lifeless robot who merely transports people from place to place. He's a human being with his own joys and struggles.

Mr. 71D bus driver, I thank you for that reminder, and I hope you and your daughter enjoy a very Merry Christmas together.

Taking on Screen writing.

I just got back from my first day of my new class at Filmmakers: Intro to Screen writing.

The woman teaching it is pretty hilarious, and seems to know her stuff. Tonight, we went over the syllabus and watched Die Hard in fast-forward, with the teacher pointing out the structure of the basic "3 act screenplay" as the action unfolded. It was interesting and highly entertaining at the same time. I have some readings to read for the next class, plus I may try to watch some movies in fast-motion.

(think of Spaceballs, I can watch fast-motion of the fast-forward part!).

I'm not exactly sure why I decided to pick up a screen writing class. I don't feel like I'm particularly talented in that realm. Perhaps that's part of the reason actually. It will be a good challenge. However, I don't feel like it's something I would really want to do for a living. I do not write habitually. I guess I just like trying different things...maybe wondering if I'm missing something that I could actually develop into something that I could utilize in a job or in my art?

It certainly doesn't hurt to be well-rounded.

At any rate, I did take a playwriting class and I know that my dialogue is lacking. I could use some work in that area. Also, I do not have a great knowledge of the movies in existence, directors, actors, writers...so I'll have to hop on www.IMDB.com and browse around for a while.

Or get into some conversations with some of my movie-fanatic friends.

And max out the Netflix account.

On a Razor's Edge...

Ha, as soon as I wrote that title I realized how suicidal that sounded...never fear, I'm not on my "last rope" or something.

What I mean by that phrase is, I feel like lately I've been on the edge of something big. However, it's like I keep floating back and forth toward that edge, like swinging on a rope over a swimming hole and not quite getting far enough over to let go. It's kind of frustrating.

Part of the frustration comes in that I'm not quite sure how to define that big something. I think it's spiritual, but it seems even bigger than that, if that's possible.

The edge might also mean that I feel the pressure of keeping life in balance and I feel that I'm always teetering like that single bowling pin that just refuses to fall when you're sure you've thrown a strike.

All of this balancing and swinging, it's tiring. (those circus types must get exhausted)

Now it occurs to me, perhaps the reason it's tiring is because I'm putting all of the pressure to do the balancing onto myself. I'm human and I'm not exactly built to do that sort of thing. At the same time, I do believe that we are given the responsibility for some of this stuff...inaction is not the answer. It's just, where do I focus my trust when it really comes down to it? When I act, do I have the faith that God will use that action? Do I "do all I can and then leave it up to God?" Do I believe that God works even when I'm not doing such a good job at "doing"??

All I can do is humble myself, spend time being thankful and remembering that I'm Beloved. It is only out of that identity that I can truly act with confidence. It's not that I have to always be in balance or always steady...I often learn so much more when I fall. I relate with people more through what I don't have together than with what I do.

Discipline AND Free-flowing. Works AND Grace. Flesh AND Spirit. This line is a paradox. It's about finding peace within the paradox...being able to live in it even if I don't completely understand it.

This razor edge existence is the only way to live...I just need to let go, move forward and lose my fear of falling.

Bad Bike Karma Lately....

I've had more flat tires in the past two weeks than I've had for the entire lifetime of my bike (had it since May 2007). Today I blew out my back tire while crossing the Birmingham Bridge.

I'm wondering if it's time to buy new tires, rather than buying new tubes...?

Last night, I had another close call...this time in broad daylight. I was riding down East Carson towards the Hot Metal Bridge (going to my final video class). I was behind a bus and the light turned green. The bus went through intersection and I was right behind it. Some dude decided to make a left-hand turn into me. It was one of those times where everything seems to go in slow-motion. I thought I was going to get hit right in the side...started to brake and then decided to try to pedal through. I heard an unreal scream/shriek come out of my mouth. He nicked the very back of my back tire. I turned around with a look of WTF?? The guy's gesturing/expression seemed to say, "oh well, no damage done right?" as he kept on driving.

I probably should have tried to stop him and had a little chat about not turning left on a green light without making sure there was no on-coming traffic, but I was too much in shock. I probably should have been on the left-most side of the lane now that I think of it...I was just trying to get around the bus earlier.

Anyway, I'm trying not to think about this too much...time to go fix my bike tire and get out of the office.

Another crazy night for biking in the Burgh

Maybe this blog will end up being my place to deposit all of my experiences while biking??

Anyway, tonight I stayed at Filmmakers late to finish a project for Monday. I was going down Baum and went past a car that was partially pulled into the Wendy's drive-thru. As I approached, one of the kids in the back seat had the door open...and threw something onto the street! I think s/he was trying to throw it at me or in front of my bike!! What?? Who does that? And what parents would let them get away with it? I turned back briefly and gave them an incredulous look (if they could've seen it). They were laughing so obviously it was intentional.

Oh well.

Luckily the kid had bad aim.

Coach, don't sign that kid up to play ball, he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn...er bike.

My brush with death...sort of...

...not really, but it was enough to get me shaken up.

I was biking home from Filmmakers in Oakland. I already had a bad night, realizing I had previously only captured video, with no audio...rendering my time spent there useless. The roads were wet and I was flying down Negley to get home. There was a green light ahead at East Liberty Boulevard and I was racing towards it.

When I was about 20 feet from the intersection, a cop car accelerating toward the same intersection with lights flashing suddenly appeared on the perpendicular street and turned on its siren. I hit my brakes, fishtailed and skidding off the the left to avoid what I thought was going to be a side collision. The cop car stopped (slowed down) in time and turned left to go down the direction in which I had come. I really thought that I was going to at least wipe out horribly in the middle of the intersection. I sat there for a second to get my bearings.

I haven't (knock on wood) been in an accident yet with another person/vehicle. I mildly wiped out on the Hot Metal Ped Bridge twice...once from ice, once from taking a turn too quickly on the wet. That's about it. I'm not looking forward to my first actual accident, since I'm sure that's going to happen at some point. Getting doored or run off the road. Anyway, my bike riding has been blessedly safe thus far.

Maybe I should be more careful at night and maybe I should not fly through intersections for this reason, but I don't understand why a cop wouldn't just keep their siren on well before an intersection? It doesn't help when your momentum is already carrying you through what is a solid green light, especially if you are on a bike.

Beauty Everywhere

Sometimes beauty is just so in your face, you have nothing to do but sit and gawk at it.

...unless you have a camera, then you take a picture!

This photo was taken on a Wednesday Wake-Up Paddle with Venture Outdoors.


I swear that these breathtaking images are set before us to remind us that it is GOOD we are here on this earth. Despite how tired I might have felt at 6:30 in the morning, despite my muscles being a little sore and feeling my weakness, despite how crappy I might have felt the day before, despite being splashed with a little bit of dirty (albeit, much-improved) Allegheny River water...there was a beautiful sky...as if an Artist painted it just for those of us who were on the water that morning.

We just need to slow down enough to enjoy it.

Larger image: http://gimppac.deviantart.com/art/Sun-clouds-water-kayak-90504466
More photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/pachicka/WednesdayPaddles